Alright, let’s gab about them…what do you call ’em? Hulk heels? Yeah, them big ol’ shoes. Sounds crazy, right? But folks are wearin’ ’em, or at least lookin’ at ’em. I saw some pictures online, them things are somethin’ else.
First off, some of them heels, they’re taller than a corn stalk in July! I’m talkin’ eight inches or more. Can you imagine walkin’ in them things? You’d be lookin’ down at everyone like you’re standin’ on a tractor tire. High heels, they call ’em, but these ain’t your grandma’s Sunday shoes, no sirree. These are like…stilts, but fancy.
Now, I ain’t no fashion expert. I wear shoes that keep my feet dry and don’t give me blisters when I’m workin’ in the garden. But these hulk heels, they’re somethin’ different. Some got pointy toes, sharp enough to poke a hole in a water bucket. They call them stilettos, sounds like a knife, if you ask me. Makes your legs look long and skinny, though, I guess that’s the point.
- Pointy toes – pokey lookin’
- High as a kite – might break your neck!
- All sorts of colors – even green like that Hulk fella
Then you got the ones with straps, all tangled up like a mess of fishin’ line. They look pretty, I reckon, but I bet they take forever to put on. And if you gotta run from a rooster, well, good luck with that. You’d be trippin’ over yourself faster than a calf on ice.
And get this, some folks are even gettin’ these shoes custom-made! Can you believe it? Spendin’ good money on shoes you can barely walk in. They put all sorts of things on ’em too, like pictures of that Hulk guy, all green and muscly. Seems like a waste to me, but then again, I ain’t one for fancy things.
I even seen some little kid shoes, with pictures of them superhero fellas on ’em. Not high heels, mind you, but swimmin’ shoes and such. Little Spiderman and Captain America on their feet. Kids these days, they got it all.
Now, they say you gotta walk a certain way in these high heels. Heel to toe, they call it. Not flat-footed like you’re stompin’ around in the mud. You gotta be graceful, like a cat walkin’ on a fence. I tried it once, in my daughter’s old shoes. Almost broke my ankle. Decided right then and there, work boots are good enough for me.
And the prices! Lord have mercy. Some of them heels cost more than a whole pig! I saw one pair for over two hundred dollars. Two hundred dollars! You could buy a whole lotta chicken feed with that kind of money. But I guess if you wanna look fancy and tall, you gotta pay the price.
I did see some cheaper ones, though, with them superhero pictures. Sixteen dollars, maybe nineteen. For kids, mostly. Still seems like a lot for somethin’ they’re just gonna grow out of in a few months. But hey, it ain’t my money.
So, them hulk heels… they’re somethin’ alright. Not for me, though. I’ll stick to my sensible shoes. But if you wanna feel like a giant, or maybe just show off your legs, then go ahead and give ’em a try. Just be careful you don’t fall and break somethin’. And for heaven’s sake, don’t wear ’em in the garden!
High heels, stilettos, custom made shoes, it’s all a bit much for this ol’ lady. I’ll stick to what I know, and leave the fancy footwear to the young ‘uns.
And one last thing, that Hulk Hogan fella, he said somethin’ about these shoes too, didn’t he? Can’t remember what, but it was somethin’ about bein’ tough, I reckon. Well, you’d have to be tough to wear them things all day, that’s for sure.
Tags: [hulk heels, high heels, stilettos, custom shoes, superhero shoes, footwear, fashion, Marvel]
